193 - Building Bridges, Not Walls – How Men Can Lead with Love & Accountability with Jeff Perera

In this powerful conversation, Jeff Perera, founder of Higher Unlearning, joins Boysen Hodgson to discuss modern masculinity, societal division, and how men can navigate these complexities with accountability, compassion, and integrity.

Key Ideas:

• The Era of Surfacing: Over the past decade, hard truths about race, gender, and accountability have emerged, forcing people to either lean in or push back.
• The Trust Famine & Empathy Deficit: Deep distrust in institutions has led to defensive behaviors and a lack of empathy in public discourse.
• The Gardening Metaphor: Change requires patience—nurturing relationships, growing understanding, and allowing transformation rather than discarding people.
• The Accountability Challenge: True accountability must be invited, not imposed. Without agreements, we can’t demand accountability from others.
• The Inner Compass for Men: A four-step framework for growth: 
  1. Determine who you are – Define your values.
  2. Be what you believe – Align actions with values.
  3. Show up for the consequences – Own your impact.
  4. Do better than yesterday – Commit to growth.
• On-Ramps vs. Backflips: Creating accessible entry points for change is more effective than demanding instant transformation.
• Reframing Masculinity: Instead of just telling men to "do better," we must emphasize healing, self-awareness, and personal growth.
• The Role of Love & Compassion: Engaging men in change requires making them feel seen, valued, and invited—not shamed or discarded.

Jeff and Boysen explore the paradox of isolation vs. connection, the power of self-awareness, and how men can build a healthier masculinity in uncertain times.

Learn more about Jeff: https://higherunlearning.com/

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